Today had taken it all out of me. I was exhausted…and it wasn’t even lunch time. I threw slip-on shoes onto my four, three, and two year olds, and loaded them into the car to get some food. Wasn’t that extra work? Uh, yeah, but I just needed to drive somewhere with my iTune songs playing, and I couldn’t just leave them at the house, right?
I pulled into the drive-thru, ordered, and then came around to the window. The girl there took my money, and then while I waited for her to bring the food, I actually remembered the tracts in my purse. Usually I don’t think of it until after I’ve already pulled away from the window and it’s too late. But I didn’t want to pull one out and give it to the girl at the window. “Not today, Lord. Please not today. I’m just not in the mood.” This girl had given me food before, and she didn’t seem very nice, kind of snobby really, so I didn’t think it would really matter if I gave her one. So I just sat there, and kept waiting. And the answer came back into my head: “Why not today? What makes your day so bad that you wouldn’t share the Gospel with that girl?What would be worse, your bad day, or her eternity in hell?”
I sheepishly pulled the tract out of my purse. She finally brought the food (I was glad it had taken so long, cause I was too stubborn to pull the tract out right away) and I gave her the tract. She not only seemed surprised, but actually positive, and it was the first time I’ve come through that drive-thru that she’s ever smiled at me. I don’t know if she’ll come to my church, but I know I would have spent a long time regretting it if I hadn’t given it to her.
As I drove away, the most awesome thing happened. I felt grace. It was the first time I had ever had such a definite sense of God extending grace to me. And I had been so frustrated today that when I felt it, I had tears come into my eyes. It was easier when I got home to be patient with my kids and extend love to them. Grace often times is something that a lot of Christians talk about, but don’t often experience. It has become one of the cliché words that they toss around, putting it in that category of nebulous words that are just a nice idea, but don’t really mean anything. I felt it today, and am so grateful for something so definite that once again proved not just God’s goodness to me, but God Himself. It certainly didn’t come from within myself.